Last night, I set up the timer for 30 minutes. This is how much time I can devote to my practice in the evenings. I did not set up any intermediate bells. I also had no intention to sit for 30 minutes. I'm done with using the duration of my sittings as a gauge of … Continue reading 15 Mar. Carrot and stick.
I feel no obligation to meditate. The only gauge of my progress should be how much and how easily I can let go. Mediation can be so joyful. If I only learn how to just sit. Let the time slip through my fingers. Let everything waste away. Let opportunities pass me by. There is never anything … Continue reading 14 Mar. The Black Jewel.
No meditation for 10 days. The first couple of days – stuck inside the house with sick kids. Tons of stress and worry. Outside: snow, ice, wind and cold. Insomnia hit me hard. Due to lack of sleep - no control over my thoughts. Hell. One day, when I felt that hurtful thoughts would bury … Continue reading 12 Mar. “Stop thinking, and end your problems”.
Last night, I set up the timer for 20 minutes. I gave up after five. I gave up. I wasn't tired. I wasn't cold. I had the time to sit. I just didn't see the point. Last few days: worry and stress. Welcome sleepless nights. Sleeping two hours in the night is no joke. Seven … Continue reading 28 Feb. Good at being still.
I woke up before 4 AM this morning. Not great at all. But I used that extra time wisely. I finished reading "The Sirens of Titan" by Kurt Vonnegut. What I bliss. Sitting at the kitchen table in complete silence, sipping on my delicious no caff malt "coffee" and reading. After I finished the last … Continue reading 23 Feb. A sweet spot.
I managed to sit for 30 minutes last night. I started off with mantra: 'Om' (but it could have been any meaningless word or sound). Not repeating it mentally. Not trying to focus my attention. It was not a concentration practice. More along the lines of transcendental meditation technique. I thought the mantra clearly a few … Continue reading 22 Feb. Relief.
Last night - very sleepy. This morning - brilliant sitting. I'm very excited about using mantra immediately before mindfulness practice. Mantra does a great job centring and focusing the mind. When I let go of the mantra after 10 or 15 minutes my mind naturally becomes empty. Like a satellite falling towards earth and missing … Continue reading 21 Feb. Mantra and mindfulness.