I keep thinking/reading about the Pure Land Buddhism. It is stressing me out. I have never thought that Buddhism will become such a burden. I'm trying to convince myself that the Pure Land practice is a legitimate one. But my doubts are growing as I see Pure Land apologetics bending over backwards trying to explain Pure … Continue reading 17 Aug. Allah, Zeus and Odin.
While driving to work today I silently recited nembutsu. It was scary to see how often my mind preferred to abandon the joyful mantra and ventured into the land of useless, selfish, and fearful thoughts. I find a relief in the Buddha-mindfulness practice. Thinking the mantra of Amida instead of reacting to thoughts and events … Continue reading 16 Aug. Imagining Pure Land.
Recently, I have been as unskillful as one could be. So hard to find time to meditate too. And I'm full of doubt about my nembutsu practice - I haven't been reciting Amida's name as much lately. Is Amida Buddha real? Or am I delusional and desperate? (Nembutsu practice brings me peace and wisdom - … Continue reading 15 Aug. Imagining Buddha.
I meditated for 10 minutes last night. This morning, I wasted over an hour browsing the Internet like a complete idiot. I should have meditated. I am listening to a talk by Ajahn Sumedho. He said that apart from the ordinary knowledge acquired from books and teachers, there is a knowledge that comes to us … Continue reading 10 Aug. Knowledge.
I meditated on most days during holidays. Quiet (but not silent) nembutsu recitation followed by mindfulness of breathing. My mind became very quiet. Sometimes a smile would appear on my face. During the day, I would think nembutsu a lot. I also tried to observe anicca, anatta and dukkha in every person, object and mental fabrication. Nembutsu … Continue reading 9 Aug. Morality.
Last night: quiet Namo Amitabhaya repetitions followed by anapanasati. When I finished, I had to go out and do a bit of shopping. To my delight, my mind kept repeating Namo Amitabhaya on its own. I thought last night about how little time I can devote to the practice of meditation. I doubt those 20 … Continue reading 31 Jul. Namo Amitabhaya.
Last night, during my formal meditation, rather than thinking nembutsu I kept repeating it quietly. But loud enough to hear it. Then I let go of whispering nembutsu and allowed my mind to echo the words Namo Amitabhaya over and over again. And then I let that go too. I experienced a wonderful state of … Continue reading 30 Jul 18. Faith.