Last night - very sleepy. This morning - brilliant sitting. I'm very excited about using mantra immediately before mindfulness practice. Mantra does a great job centring and focusing the mind. When I let go of the mantra after 10 or 15 minutes my mind naturally becomes empty. Like a satellite falling towards earth and missing … Continue reading 21 Feb. Mantra and mindfulness.
Last night: mantra followed by mindfulness (of breath). Tired. Sleepy. Pity. This morning, the same technique. Nothing special. Poor focus. The house was so cold. So I sat there with cold hands and nose. Almost shivering. In the dark. In my living room. On the floor. On Tuesday before 6 AM. Like a crazy person. … Continue reading 20 Feb. Tired evening. Cold morning.
Meditation truly is like digging a hole in the wet sand: it is not important how hard have you dug so far, as soon as you stop digging, stop putting effort into deepening the hole, the sand will collapse and cover it. Even though since my last post I spent an average 8 hours every … Continue reading 19 Feb. It feels great to be back.
I meditate in the evenings. I keep my eyes open and the lights in the room on. It helps with drowsiness. I light a small candle next to my Buddha statue. I bow. I meditate. I bow again. I bow to express gratitude and respect. I prefer to meditate after I wake up but for … Continue reading 25 Jan. Not my fault.
I continue to sit every day. I tried to sit for an hour an a half on Saturday morning but gave up after 40 minutes. A thought came to me while sitting on Saturday. This is how I wrote it down immediately after the sitting: "Not two. Existence is relational. If there is only one … Continue reading 22 Jan. “I store meat in the belly of my brother.”
My Monday evening sitting was a very special one. Worry and negativity took the best of me and I finished my meditation in a state of anger, frustration and agitation. I'm pretty sure this is not how meditation should work. But I'm no expert... My mindfulness was weak. So there was only me and my negative self-talk. … Continue reading 18 Jan. Sorry, Buddha.
Recently, I've been sitting more often in the evenings than in the mornings. I also keep my eyes open and the lights in the room on. It seems to be doing a good job lessening the drowsiness. Meditating with eyes open is very different from meditating with eyes closed. There are more distractions. But are … Continue reading 15 Jan. Coffee. Zazen.