I visited Tibetan Buddhist Meditation Centre in Dublin (Karma Kagyu Lineage of Tibetan Buddhism) yesterday. This time the event went ahead and I got to meditate with a group of 10 people.
I thought we would sit for 20 minutes only. We sat for 60. There were no breaks. Just one intermediate bell. More or less 10 years from the start. Another 20 years passed and meditation was over.
First half was pretty bad. I was tired. Sleepy. Trying too hard to focus. And then, after the first bell, I remembered that meditation is not about doing. It is about allowing silence to arrive. If I can’t let go of my meditation being weak, I suck at meditation. So I let go of trying. I surrendered. Opened up to whatever was to come. And from that point onwards meditation was good.
What strikes me now is that when I bowed to the beautifully lit statue of Buddha before and after meditation I did it with conviction and deep gratefulness. Oh, boy…