Last night – 30 minutes consisting of 20 minutes of silent Buddho mantra and 10 minutes of anapanasati. Very sleepy and tired. I thought I wouldn’t make it. Minutes dragging like hours. What helped me was remembering that thoughts are not important because they have no reality. I also tried to be present, seeing only one thought at a time. Not judging myself for having this or that thought. Not allowing the story to develop. At the end, my mind gave in. Developing good concentration. So important. Samatha before vipassana.
This morning – 20 minutes of Buddho mantra. My mind was restless. Cold morning. Sneezing. A runny nose. I woke up late. I couldn’t stop thinking about being late to work. I really tried to develop concentration. I succeeded. I failed.
Whatever arises in the mind has no importance at all, because it has no reality whatsoever. Don’t become attached to it. Don’t pass judgement. (Gendun Rinpoche)
Bad At Being Still 