30 minutes of Buddho mantra last night. I knew I shouldn’t be expecting anything to happen. I knew that expectations spoil meditation. When you are planning for the future, you are not in the present moment. And yet, I couldn’t resist the hope that I will experience that blissful total mind’s absorption again, an experience that brought me so much relief yesterday, that lighten up my day.
And of course, nothing happened. I simply followed my breath and mantra until they became one. Mantra-breath. I practiced focus. I wasn’t disappointed. I noticed that my focus was pretty good last night and mind fairly still and obedient.
This morning I woke up late again. I sat for just 5 minutes. It was worth doing. It connected me with my practice. This short sitting served me as a reminder. A reminder of the breath and Buddho.
I’m looking forward to my long sitting tomorrow morning. If my kids won’t wake up before 8, of course. God Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, please make my kids sleep past 8 tomorrow.
Bad At Being Still 