My sittings on Sunday and Monday nights were terrible. It took a lot of effort to sit still for those 17 and 18 minutes. I was very sleepy. Very agitated and grumpy afterward. It felt more like doing push-ups than meditating.
This morning – 30 minutes. My mind worrying all the time. No matter how much I focused on the breath/body. Nothing helped. Anxious thoughts as real as concrete blocks. My morning sitting looked something like this:
I’m listening to a podcast where Sam Harris interviews Thomas Metzinger. They talk about consciousness. Of course. Fascinating. Of course. Isn’t it humoristic that humans came up with the terms consciousness, time, self and now are spending centuries trying to explain them… and fail? What would you think about a writer who wrote a short story and then failed to explain what was it about!?
On Saturday, we took a boat trip to Ireland’s Eye island. The island was beautiful. Why am I even impressed? After all, I’ve been living on a beautiful island for almost 12 years already.
Bad At Being Still 