Half an hour yesterday morning before leaving to work. Racing thoughts. I was hoping that if I give it some time my mind will settle eventually. No such thing happened. It was not because I didn’t care or lacked discipline. I woke up too early again and I was simply sleepy and tired. You can’t win with biology. So I sat there practicing non-judgement, detachment from my expectations.
Before sitting to meditate I read from the “Swampland Flowers”. The more I sit the more those things resonate with me, the more I understand them, the more beautiful they are.
I ask you to abandon at once all the joy you’ve ever felt in reading the words of the scriptures yourself or when being aroused and instructed by others. Be totally without knowledge and understanding, as before, like a three-year-old child—though the innate consciousness is there, it doesn’t operate. Then contemplate what’s there before the thought of seeking the direct essentials arises: observe and observe. As you feel you’re losing your grip more and more and your heart is more and more uneasy, don’t give up and slack off: this is the place to cut off the heads of the thousand sages. Dahui Zonggao (1089–1163)
Bad At Being Still 