4 Dec. Long sitting. Buddho.

My daughter (who is always first to wake up) disturbed my morning meditation on Saturday morning. What was supposed to be an hour long sitting became 20 minutes long mind wandering. I’m ok with that.

On Sunday, I sat a little bit earlier, set the timer for two hours. Soon, I realised that I forgot to switch off the silent mode on my phone, so I sat there not knowing how much time passed. 20 minutes, or a half an hour, or an hour maybe? Without intermediate bells, it was impossible to say. Judging by the unpleasant sensations in my legs and aching back, it was rather close to an hour. The incense stick burned out, as well as the candle, the colours outside my eyelids changed from black to blue. But I kept sitting with a strong resolve that I will not check the time, I will not get up until my family wakes up. And that I will not be bothered by this whole situation. And I wasn’t.

I sat for over an hour. I expected my mind to quiet down eventually. But it didn’t. (Beginner’s mistake: I expected my meditation to be this or that). It became tired and distracted. Towards the end, I focused on Buddho mantra. And it was good. I like this mantra. It is soothing. The Buddho is a reminder and the goal. Also: the more I practice this mantra during meditation the more comfort and peace it gives me when I bring it to my mind during the day.

I went for a run on Saturday. The air smelled of winter and rotting leaves. The morning was grey, wet and cold (just a few degrees above the freezing point). I always run in a t-shirt. I felt piercing cold on my body which I enjoyed. On Saturday I run without any plan along empty, narrow country roads. At some stage, I saw the Howth hill on the horizon, partially covered in thick white clouds. The sea beneath was dark blue. It all looked like a scenery from a Japanese painting. Magnificent. I run for a duration of first three Placebo albums, passing endless empty fields, wet trees, cows and abandoned houses. I stopped to snap a photo of an old unused glasshouse.

 

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