28 Feb. Good at being still.

Last night, I set up the timer for 20 minutes. I gave up after five. I gave up. I wasn’t tired. I wasn’t cold. I had the time to sit. I just didn’t see the point. Last few days: worry and stress. Welcome sleepless nights. Sleeping two hours in the night is no joke. Seven years of continuous meditation practice led me back to square one. And I’m giving up vaping. It’s my third day off nicotine. My very last addiction. Now, when I need it so much.

Meditation is going great. My back is straight. Mantra practice calms my mind in a matter of minutes. Mindfulness of breath (anapansati) afterwards is easy. When thoughts appear they disappear quickly. So what? I’m at peace for 20-30 minutes per day. I’m at war for the remaining 20+ hours. What an astonishing achievement!

I spoke with a person because of who my meditation practice accelerated a couple of years ago due to a great deal of stress that person caused me. Meditation helped me to cope with it. A very few people know that I meditate. And those who know don’t take it seriously. Today, that person told me: “If you can’t sleep, try to meditate. Just focus on your breath. It helped me to deal with my stress and sleeplessness.”

I almost started to laugh hysterically.

4 thoughts on “28 Feb. Good at being still.

  1. Ed Brown has a wonderfully similar story of going to the Apple Store, and having a young salesperson suggest to him that he try meditating, fully forty years after he began with Suzuki Roshi… I hope you are able to keep extending your awareness of breath into other situations.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, apologies for the late response. I have never heard about Ed Brown before… But the story is hilarious… So Ed Brown practices Zen through cooking – I read online. Is there even anything that doesn’t mix well with Zen? All the best!


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