I woke up at 4 AM. It took me an hour to fully wake up. I sat down to mediate at 5. I spent an hour on the cushion. I was tired. I was sleepy. I was cold. I sat there being present in my body, observing my breath and thoughts. My thoughts… What an utter nonsense! Anger, pride, fear, self-righteousness, sadness, egotism.
At some stage, towards the end, I realised, the sheer stupidity of my thoughts. How unexpectedly they come into existence, how rapidly they change, quickly they disappear. Here I am. Here is my body. Here is the floor I’m sitting on. Here are my cold hands. And there is the carousel of my mental fabrications. How can I take them seriously!?
And I chuckled. I’m pretty sure that it is not normal to chuckle during meditation. But I did. I just couldn’t help myself.