So I sat to meditate without any hope of staying on the cushion for too long this morning. There had been a bit of suffering in my life recently. Worry. A bit of physical sickness. A lot of work. As soon as I closed my eyes thoughts started emerging: this suffering is not mine, this is not my suffering – it is just suffering.
There is no my suffering. There is just suffering. Just like there is no my air I’m breathing. There is air. There is just rain. There is gravity. There are laws of physics. I just happen to interact with them through my imaginary self.
Later on, during the day I had to go to Dublin. As I was walking the streets, looking around there was so much craving in me. I want this. I want that. I will never have any of them. On the train back it struck me how quickly the objects of my cravings changed, how unnoticeably my mind jumps from wanting this to wanting that. Each of them holding a false promise of permanent satisfaction.
I know that there is no permanent satisfaction other than eradicating the craving. This is what Buddha is teaching me. I think about this a lot. I think about this all the time.
Bad At Being Still 