3 Oct 19.

So grateful for my practice. I sit as much as I can. I don’t even have to force myself to do so. The more I do it the more everything else reveals itself as dukkha, anicca, anatta. And the eternal question: How much should I meditate each day? My answer – applicable to myself – as much as possible. I am discovering that I need a lot of it. Like a lot a lot, like. When my mind wanders very much I count out-breaths. I try to limit the use of my phone as it proves itself to be an enemy of meditation, just like alcohol. The exposure to social media, news and world affairs creates a false sense of urgency within me, the need to catch up, be on top of things, react, share, express opinions, get up and do something about something. But everything is really empty, impermanent and haunting.

I finished reading Atthakavagga and Parayanavagga which appear to be one of the earliest Buddhists texts in existence. It amazes me how very different they are from other Theravadian sutras: they reassemble more Chan poem ‘Faith in Mind’ or Tao Te Ching than many prominent sutras from Pali Kanon. (This also applies to Dhammapada.) I am wondering what is the true and genuine message of the Buddha? We may never be able to separate His words from later additions and accommodations. So how and what should I practice? The answer I have come up with is: just follow the mediation practice the Buddha taught, read sutras, read the writings of the Buddhists masters and teachers and the right information will find its way to the surface. But primarily – just sit.

My understanding is that through practising mindfulness of breath the mind stills and concentration arises. And in the mind that is still and concentrated wisdom blossoms. There isn’t much more to it, is it?

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