11 Oct 19. Suffering as a pastime activity.

Only a few months ago I was complaining that I couldn’t find the time to sit. But when I eventually resumed my practice, I was always able to find the time. The more I sit, the more time I seem to have. My sittings are getting longer because when I am meditating time loses its meaning and importance. And in my daily life, everything feels new. Sometimes, especially in the mornings, I sit for an hour just suffering. (What better way to start the day?) I achieve almost no concentration. But on those occasions time just flies and an hour of mental anguish feels like just 5 minutes of mental anguish. But most of my sittings are wonderful. I am truly grateful for my practice.

On Saturday, I read poems by Layman Pang. I also read from the “Transmission of the Lamp”. A student said to Fayan Wenyi: “It is said that a chamber which has been dark for one hundred years can be made light by a single lamp.” This passage immediately brought to memory those verses from Dhammapada:

Whoever has done an evil deed
But covers it with a virtuous one
Illuminates this world
Like the moon freed from a cloud.

There is only this moment: the rest is regret or anxiety.

Last night, I had a dream. I walked along a jetty. In the night sky there were three moons.

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