What a relief to put Buddhism away. One day, I was reading some sutras about heavens, hells, angel-like creatures, punishment and reward in the afterlife. Paradoxically, it sounded way more familiar to the Christian apostate in me than it did to the Dhamma follower working on abandoning attachment, lessening the ego and awaking compassion here and now.
On impulse, I searched online for “criticism of Buddhism”. In one of the videos, the guy said something along the lines of – why do we apply so much criticism and scrutiny to Christianity, Judaism and Islam and so little to Buddhism? And it struck me that I indeed have never looked at Buddhism with the same eyes I look at Christianity and Islam.
So I listened to the man some more. I was equally shocked by what he said as I was by the fact that he actually said it. I realised that I accepted uncritically everything I have read in sutras, or heard from the mouths of Buddhist masters/teachers.
I have cancelled recurring payments to the Buddhist teachers I was supporting, unsubscribed from all Buddhist YouTube Channels and podcasts, put my favourite Dhamma books back on the shelf.
After the initial shock, came the relief. That night, I sat to meditate, and it was wonderful. I felt as if I dropped all desire to achieve anything or become anyone. I felt so much peace. As if that unattainable ideal of Buddhist vanished allowing me to be who I really was – a process, an ordinary person.
I will try to discuss these matters in greater detail (and in broken English, as usual) over the next few posts. Because, why not?