What a relief to put Buddhism away. One day, I was reading some sutras about heavens, hells, angel-like creatures, punishment and reward in the afterlife. Paradoxically, it sounded way more familiar to the Christian apostate in me than it did to the Dhamma follower working on abandoning attachment, lessening the ego and awaking compassion here and now.
On impulse, I searched online for “criticism of Buddhism”. In one of the videos, the guy said something along the lines of – why do we apply so much criticism and scrutiny to Christianity, Judaism and Islam and so little to Buddhism? And it struck me that I indeed have never looked at Buddhism with the same eyes I look at Christianity and Islam.
So I listened to the man some more. I was equally shocked by what he said as I was by the fact that he actually said it. I realised that I accepted uncritically everything I have read in sutras, or heard from the mouths of Buddhist masters/teachers.
I have cancelled recurring payments to the Buddhist teachers I was supporting, unsubscribed from all Buddhist YouTube Channels and podcasts, put my favourite Dhamma books back on the shelf.
After the initial shock, came the relief. That night, I sat to meditate, and it was wonderful. I felt as if I dropped all desire to achieve anything or become anyone. I felt so much peace. As if that unattainable ideal of Buddhist vanished allowing me to be who I really was – a process, an ordinary person.
I will try to discuss these matters in greater detail (and in broken English, as usual) over the next few posts. Because, why not?
Bad At Being Still 
Really interesting thought here, I myself never looked critically into the ideologies of Buddhism or Taoism. Then again, I think if you over identify yourself with religious ideology, you can lose yourself. All I know is that meditation works for me and the experiences you have are meant just for you. Keep doing you my friend.
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Hi, thank you. It does work for me too. But most of the stuff that comes with it have become such a burden. Good luck with your practice.
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Thanks for posting this. It sounds like you’ve found inner freedom! Indeed, if complete inner freedom is a Buddhist ideal, then walking away from the “ism” while keeping a meditation practice makes complete sense. This is freedom from abstract conceptual structures. One is conscious of being…that is all. The moment of true silence is a rare jewel that no “ism” can capture. Well done, sir!
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You are spot on, Sir!
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Interesting development! I look forward to reading more. Enjoy your sitting!
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As always, thank you so much for your kind words, Sir! I am in the process of gathering my thoughts, so I can address my main reasons in one go before I move on.
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Whatever has become a burden, set aside, and only give yourself to what your intelligence, reason, and experience can confirm to be both true and liberating. That too is Buddhism in a nutshell.
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Hi, yes, this is exactly what happened. I felt that what we call “Buddhism” became a bit of distraction from what I felt the Buddha said. I also started noticing similarities between Buddhism and large theistic religions. For me, what the Buddha said was to simply let go of what is stressful, impermanent and non-personal by means of developing wisdom and mastery over one’s mind. All the best!
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