9 Apr 20. It only hurts when you think about it.

I have received yet another solid dose of injustice in my workplace a few days ago. I saw it coming and I was dreading those sleepless nights, bad mood, frustration and anger I have experienced so many times before.

And yet, it is very different this time. What I feel the most in the nasty situation I am in is gratitude for the teachings of the Buddha, for the words of the Buddhist masters and for my own simple and ordinary meditation practice.

Yes, I do occasionally and briefly experience pain, anger and resentment, but it is only when I think about the discriminatory treatment I have received. When I notice the unskillful thoughts arising, recognise them as just thoughts and let them fade away I seem to be doing fine. What I call unskillful thoughts are any thoughts I use to refer to myself as a victim or to degrade the people who wronged me.

It is obvious to me that each thought can be either just a thought or a hostile universe in which I assume the role of a tormented victim. The choice is always mine. What offers me that choice is wakefulness / awareness / vigilance / mindfulness, in other words – the quality of not being asleep, of not being a zombie, of not being a biological robot, of not being dead. It is something I practice during meditation by performing the simple act of focusing my attention on the breath.

The power of meditation for me is not in any spectacular experiences or achievements, rather in repeating the same simple and mundane activity of noticing the breath and the body.

Over and over again.

Gently but persistently.

Joyfully but meticulously.

Without any regard to anything else in the world.

3 thoughts on “9 Apr 20. It only hurts when you think about it.

  1. This post helps us very much. You are so human to us. Your practice helps us to put down self-judgment about our own unskillful thoughts. We are a person. We have choices. Yes. Not a catastrophe. Thank you so much. Any post like this is worth more to us than we can express. Such an act of compassion by you

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello. I hope you are doing fine. It is hard work to put down the unskillful thoughts and at the same time it is so easy. Perhaps it is so hard precisely because it is so easy. Because when you really think about it, there is nothing less substantial than thoughts, so how is it possible that at the same time there is nothing more powerful than thoughts? Why do I grant so much power to my own thoughts which clearly very often goes against my own interest? I think it is simply because of fear. And the fear comes from the wrong view that the life should unfold in a certain way that serves my interest and from the delusion that my thoughts somehow can make a difference, that there is something in life that we can hold on to.
      But I am only speaking about my own experience. I may be completely wrong!!!
      All the best and thank you for your kind comment!

      Liked by 1 person

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