Only a few months ago I was complaining that I couldn't find the time to sit. But when I eventually resumed my practice, I was always able to find the time. The more I sit, the more time I seem to have. My sittings are getting longer because when I am meditating time loses its … Continue reading 11 Oct 19. Suffering as a pastime activity.
So grateful for my practice. I sit as much as I can. I don’t even have to force myself to do so. The more I do it the more everything else reveals itself as dukkha, anicca, anatta. And the eternal question: How much should I meditate each day? My answer – applicable to myself - … Continue reading 3 Oct 19.
When I meditate each day, I observe how the default mode network in my brain takes over each time I lose my focus. And each time, I die a little bit. My body is there, but my mind is not. I pop in and out of existence. When my mind wanders - what is that which … Continue reading 14 Sep 19. I keep dying.
I have memorised almost the whole “Faith in Mind” already. I learn and recite more or less all the time. My wife got used to it. I recite even when I walk my dog. My dog got used to it. Weather in Ireland is horrible. There I am walking among spasmodic tree branches and trembling … Continue reading 18 Apr.
I memorised 4 Foundation of Mindfulness, 5 Hindrances, 7 Factors of Awakening, 5 Skandhas, 6 Sense Bases, 4 Noble Truths, Noble Eightfold Path, 12 links of Dependent Origination, the first 34 verses of Faith in Mind by Sengcan (will I be able to memorise the whole poem?). When I walk my dog, I repeat what … Continue reading 8 Apr. “Faith in Mind”.
Last night: mantra followed by mindfulness (of breath). Tired. Sleepy. Pity. This morning, the same technique. Nothing special. Poor focus. The house was so cold. So I sat there with cold hands and nose. Almost shivering. In the dark. In my living room. On the floor. On Tuesday before 6 AM. Like a crazy person. … Continue reading 20 Feb. Tired evening. Cold morning.
Today is my fifth day without any caffeine at all. No coffee. No tea. The second and the third day were the worst. Irritation. Fatigue. The more unpleasant the process of giving up the more driven I was to kick the habit. I gave up coffee to improve my sleep and to aid my meditation … Continue reading 2 Jan. A perfect circle.
I tried to sit last night. I gave up after a few minutes. A runny nose. Sneezing uncontrollably every 30 seconds. It's just not going to happen. I sat for 20 minutes this morning. Still tired and dizzy a bit. But at least I didn't have to blow my nose every 5 seconds. The sitting … Continue reading 20 Sep. Meditating when sick.