27 Oct 21. Never-ending practice.

Sitting with Soto Zen folks in Dublin again. 45 minutes of staring at the wall, followed by a few minutes of walking meditation, followed by another 15 minutes of sitting meditation. When I was preparing to leave, a lady asked me about my sitting. I said it didn't feel like an hour. - Time flies … Continue reading 27 Oct 21. Never-ending practice.

13 Jan 21. Sad head. Bright head.

This morning I woke up with a heart full of sorrow and a head full of sad, sad dreams. Dreams about the past. Longings. Things forever out of my reach. Forever missed. I remembered below poem composed by Matty Weingast based on one of the texts from Pali Canon ("The First Free Women: Poems of … Continue reading 13 Jan 21. Sad head. Bright head.

27 Apr. Dukkha.

Mildly anxious thoughts about work before falling asleep last night. And then a realisation - my anxiety is really caused by inability to fulfil the desire for things/states I wrongly assume will bring me permanent happiness (like my boss treating me fairly, me paying off debts and so on). That night, I had a dream … Continue reading 27 Apr. Dukkha.

19 Apr 20.

It's wonderful how in meditation the complexity of the outside world is reduced to just one of the three feelings: pleasant, unpleasant, neutral, and how the vast network of thoughts (we perceive as unique, personal and private) turns out to originate from a single source: boring, common, mundane and banal craving.