12 Aug. Waiting for my own funeral.

Last night, I sat for 20 minutes. Poor. Opposing a healthy need for sleep is not meditation. I should have gone to bed. Grumpy afterward. Felt like a person woken up in the middle of the night. Meditation used up that little energy I had left. Attachment to meditation is still an attachment. Makes you do … Continue reading 12 Aug. Waiting for my own funeral.

10 Aug. Buddho, Buddho, Buddho.

Last night, a half an hour: 20 minutes of Buddho followed by 10 minutes of anapanasati. Observation: unpleasant thoughts dissolved quickly and unexpectedly in Buddho repetition. Just like that. As long as I maintained "bud" on the inhale and "ho" on the exhale. And when I say unpleasant, I mean: hurtful, sad, aggravating thoughts. This … Continue reading 10 Aug. Buddho, Buddho, Buddho.

5 Aug. Forget about the jhanas.

Saturday morning. My kids slept in allowing me to sit for a full hour. I started off with a few minutes of buddhanussati (recollection of the Buddha). Just enough to remind myself where I was hoping to be going... Next 15 minutes: mantra practice. Much easier to focus on the mantra than on the breath or the body. Remaining 40 minutes - anapanasati (mindfulness of breathing). When distracted by thoughts, I simply acknowledged them. I remembered: … Continue reading 5 Aug. Forget about the jhanas.