Last night I meditated with a great difficulty. Again. After the sitting I was even more exhausted and tired than before. Yet another difficult sitting at the end of a difficult day. So what? Not a big deal. Nothing to write a novel about (a blog post, at most!). It doesn’t appear I’m about to … Continue reading 28 Jul. Bad meditation. Good meditation.
Tag: Meditation Diary
27 Jul. Self-compassion
Last night: 20 minutes. So bad. Swirling thoughts. No focus whatsoever. I realized that my body was just exhausted from work, financial worries, restrictive diet and family duties. I needed sleep. I needed food. There was nothing I could do to fix my meditation when my body was tired. So I let go of my … Continue reading 27 Jul. Self-compassion
26 Jul. Self, Non-Self, screw your Self.
Half an hour last night. I should say that it was a miracle that I managed to meditate at all after yet another turbulent and draining day... Quite the contrary! It was exactly why I found the strength to meditate. Meditation is not yet another of my duties. Nobody monitors my progress. Nobody will ever reward … Continue reading 26 Jul. Self, Non-Self, screw your Self.
24 and 25 Jul. A self in a ditch.
30 minutes on Sunday morning. My usual mediation time has been 20 for the past few years. I want to increase it. I want to see what will happen. Doing a one long sitting per week is a great method for increasing meditation time by 10 or 20 minutes on regular days. In my case … Continue reading 24 and 25 Jul. A self in a ditch.
23 Jul. Don’t react.
Last morning I sat for 60 minutes. It was hard. It was great. I wasn't concerned about the quality of sitting that much. So whenever my mind went astray I simply let it go. What a banal slogan. Not anymore - but only after I gave it a meaning through my own practice. For me let … Continue reading 23 Jul. Don’t react.
22 Jul. Compassion. Self-appreciation. Sogyal Rinpoche.
So I sat to meditate last night. 10 PM. I should have been sitting on the couch with a beer in my hand watching TV. Like everybody else. After 9 hours of work and 5 hours of minding my kids, I must be crazy to choose to sit alone at the kitchen table and watch my … Continue reading 22 Jul. Compassion. Self-appreciation. Sogyal Rinpoche.
21 Jul. Something’s missing.
Last night’s sitting was pretty poor. Summer days mean that I put my kids to bed later, and I get to meditate much later as well. Very often by that time I’m already exhausted. But I did sit. I’m very pleased I did. Even if during the last few minutes I was just sitting there … Continue reading 21 Jul. Something’s missing.
20 Jul. Try not to puke.
My meditation has been guilty-free recently. The realization I got last week stuck with me: thoughts are like involuntary reflexes. Something that belongs to the realm of biology rather than (God forbid!) to the realm of spirituality. Whether I manage to cease the process of thinking for a little while or whether my brain is … Continue reading 20 Jul. Try not to puke.
13 Jul. Reflexes, reflections and tickles.
Yesterday, I sat for an hour in Rigpa Buddhist Centre, Dublin. We didn't talk much. One of the best sittings I've ever had. I realized something new and precious. Thoughts are like reflexes triggered by external or internal stimuli. Trying to control or to stop them is silly and pointless. They are like chills or … Continue reading 13 Jul. Reflexes, reflections and tickles.
12 Jul. Diamond Way.
The first time I did the 16th Karmapa meditation was in the Diamond Way Centre in Poland, about a year ago. I wasn’t fully engaged in it though. I was put off by the visualization. Also the “Invocation of Black Coat” spoken at loud in Tibetan put me off. It was way too foreign and new … Continue reading 12 Jul. Diamond Way.
Bad At Being Still 