The more I sit, the less I have to say about it. Words overwhelm me. Books, articles, blogs, podcasts, sutras, traditions, opinions and interpretations. And almost everything I have ever read, I have already forgotten anyway. Do we really have to go through all of this to be able to sit quietly on the bedroom … Continue reading 19 Oct 19. Words.
Only a few months ago I was complaining that I couldn't find the time to sit. But when I eventually resumed my practice, I was always able to find the time. The more I sit, the more time I seem to have. My sittings are getting longer because when I am meditating time loses its … Continue reading 11 Oct 19. Suffering as a pastime activity.
Awareness is the place of the deathless; unawareness is the place of death. The aware do not die; the unaware are as though dead already. And: You should see the world As a bubble, a mirage. If you look on it like this The King of Death can’t see you. The quotes from the Dhammapada. … Continue reading 9 Sep 19. Deathless.
Yesterday I meditated before leaving for work and after putting my kids to bed. Morning meditation was enjoyable. Evening sitting: one pointless anxious thought after another. This is my problem and the source of great suffering: anxious thoughts, worry about kids and work. So as I was meditating last night, my mind created one dreadful … Continue reading 5 Sep 19. Not my friend.
Last night I meditated in the bedroom: 15 minutes. Could have been 5. Could have been 1 hour. I don’t care. I couldn’t quite focus on my breath. My mind kept wandering off. And I suddenly realised: My God, I am not even able to focus on the breath for longer than 5 seconds. And … Continue reading 31 Aug. Everything is Dhamma. Don’t complain.
A thought struck me: my quest to learn as much about Dharma as possible is not really practising. I am merely reading about the practice, collecting arguments, deep sayings and cute passages. Researching. Another observation came to me: When Buddha was teaching Dharma, he didn't teach every single argument to each and every person he … Continue reading 5 Jul 19. Everything is Dharma.
I haven't been here in a while and I know what you've been asking yourself. Yes, I still binge listening to Billie Eilish. By the way, here is an update on how my practice is going in the style of the monologue of the lustful wife of that boring advertising agent. So many wonderful sutras … Continue reading 24 May. Nothing dies.
I have memorised the whole Faith in Mind. It took me almost a month. Now I will forget it. My son asked me if he could meditate with me the other night. My five-year-old daughter wanted to join. We sat on the bed. I told them to close their eyes, relax and feel the air coming … Continue reading 27 Apr. Metta.
So much stress in work. I feel miserable only when I allow self-pity and self-righteousness to take over. The more I am, the more I suffer. But even during those dark moments - everything is different. Even when I suffer, I am suspicious of my suffering. I get up before 5AM every day so I … Continue reading 19 Mar. I-making.
Stress began creeping on me again. I hadn't been putting enough time and effort into cultivating the silence. Meditation practice truly is like digging a hole in wet sand. There is nothing permanent in this world. Even though my house was full of noise and commotion I just had to find the time to reconnect. … Continue reading 25 Feb.