13 May 23. Death.

OK. So the last two years. Amphetamines, coke, alcohol, nicotine, antidepressants. Not very Buddhist of me. I know. But it is what it is. As you can imagine, I haven't been meditating regularly. Try to sit and meditate after 36 hours of no sleep, during a come-down after two days of coke and speed binge. … Continue reading 13 May 23. Death.

27 Oct 21. Never-ending practice.

Sitting with Soto Zen folks in Dublin again. 45 minutes of staring at the wall, followed by a few minutes of walking meditation, followed by another 15 minutes of sitting meditation. When I was preparing to leave, a lady asked me about my sitting. I said it didn't feel like an hour. - Time flies … Continue reading 27 Oct 21. Never-ending practice.

27 Apr. Dukkha.

Mildly anxious thoughts about work before falling asleep last night. And then a realisation - my anxiety is really caused by inability to fulfil the desire for things/states I wrongly assume will bring me permanent happiness (like my boss treating me fairly, me paying off debts and so on). That night, I had a dream … Continue reading 27 Apr. Dukkha.