4 Oct. Worry rhymes with victory.

Last night I didn't feel like sitting at all. I had done 30 minutes in the morning already. Tired out after a long day full of tension, pressure, and stress. Despite everything, I sat for 20 minutes. It was so pleasant. So good. So calm. My theory: it was so because I didn't expect anything …

29 Aug. Not great, not great at all.

Night sittings much better than the morning ones. A lot of misery, stress and sadness lately. Where is the wisdom? Where is the bliss? How many years have I been meditating already – 4, 5? And for what reason? I want to progress, I want to move on. Otherwise in 10 years I will still …

26 Jul. Self, Non-Self, screw your Self.

Half an hour last night. I should say that it was a miracle that I managed to meditate at all after yet another turbulent and draining day... Quite the contrary! It was exactly why I found the strength to meditate. Meditation is not yet another of my duties. Nobody monitors my progress. Nobody will ever reward …

24 and 25 Jul. A self in a ditch.

30 minutes on Sunday morning. My usual mediation time has been 20 for the past few years. I want to increase it. I want to see what will happen. Doing a one long sitting per week is a great method for increasing meditation time by 10 or 20 minutes on regular days. In my case …

24 June. I forgot.

I missed meditation on Friday. Thursday and Friday were very tough. Delightful sleepless night on Thursday. Half-asleep in work on Friday. At home - not as patient with my kids as I should have been. Very tired. Ridiculous thoughts about getting old. I can deal with pain, hunger, and thirst. But not with sleep deprivation. This …

15 June. Mantra.

Last night I sat for 20 minutes. After getting up at 5 am, leaving home before 6, spending next 8 hours in work, and the rest of the day minding my kids and being worried out of my head – I didn’t expect much. I started off with a mantra. When I do it, I …