I woke up before 6 AM. I had a coffee number 1 and a coffee number 2. I read Satipatthana Sutta. I think I now understand why the Theravada sutras are written in this peculiar way: full of repetitions. I have noticed that it is only irritating when you are reading the text for the … Continue reading 18 Mar 20. Hate.
A few days ago, while meditating, I had this realisation: I don't lose mindfulness because my thoughts appear. Rather, thoughts appear because I lose mindfulness. For me, the implication of this discovery in terms of simplifying and clarifying my practice is huge. There is just this one thing to do in meditation: awareness of the … Continue reading 3 Mar 20. Thoughts.
Monday. The funeral of my friend's father. I didn't know the gentleman. I attended because I knew his son. After the mass, I drove a few people from the church to the cemetery. When we were approaching the cemetery, an older Polish lady who was with us said: "We are born with nothing. We die … Continue reading 19.02.20. Funeral.
My mornings are often filled with negative self-talk and nerves-wrecking inner-chatter. I have decided to dive into the Nembutsu practice headfirst and abandon any efforts to reconcile it with my rational mind. Not because I think that Nembutsu would not pass the scrutiny of my rational mind but because there is nothing rational about my … Continue reading 4.02.20. Nembutsu.
During the past two months, I wasn’t faithful to my resolution to live in complete detachment from Dharma (God, I can’t even do that right!). I would open this or that book randomly from time to time. Especially the “Dhammapada” and “Zen Flesh, Zen Bones”. I came across the two passages in the latter - … Continue reading 28 Jan 20.
After two months since I foolishly detached myself from Buddhism, I am now ready to summarise that period of my life with scientific precision: bleurgh.
The more I sit, the less I have to say about it. Words overwhelm me. Books, articles, blogs, podcasts, sutras, traditions, opinions and interpretations. And almost everything I have ever read, I have already forgotten anyway. Do we really have to go through all of this to be able to sit quietly on the bedroom … Continue reading 19 Oct 19. Words.
Only a few months ago I was complaining that I couldn't find the time to sit. But when I eventually resumed my practice, I was always able to find the time. The more I sit, the more time I seem to have. My sittings are getting longer because when I am meditating time loses its … Continue reading 11 Oct 19. Suffering as a pastime activity.
So grateful for my practice. I sit as much as I can. I don’t even have to force myself to do so. The more I do it the more everything else reveals itself as dukkha, anicca, anatta. And the eternal question: How much should I meditate each day? My answer – applicable to myself - … Continue reading 3 Oct 19.
My practice is flourishing. This morning, I sat for an hour. So simple. Watch the breath. Short. Long. Deep. Shallow. You are not breathing. When you are breathing, you want to control the breath. It is not even that your body is breathing. Not even - the body is breathing. A body is breathing. When … Continue reading 21 Sep 19. Lazarus of Bethany. Klingsor.