Not sure what happened, but my night sittings seem to be better than the morning ones recently. When I’m sleepy I open my eyes. I start meditation with metta towards people who pissed me off, hurt me, I feel threatened by or heard about in the news. I do it wholeheartedly. Isn’t all evil generated either by misery, ignorance or sickness? It’s a great feeling to let go of a grudge. And easy to do.
Then I proceed to Buddho mantra with a clear goal in my head: develop concentration. I’m not so much concerned about achieving insight. I want to teach my mind to focus, to become fully absorbed. I’ve been meditating for a good few years already, but I feel I haven’t achieved much… I didn’t manage to develop solid foundations yet. My mind is scattered and undisciplined. How will I ever progress with a mind like that?
Yesterday I took my family to the Wicklow Mountains. I don’t know why, but I love trees and forests very much. I get excited when surrounded by plant life. Especially trees. It’s hard to explain, but their stillness seems to be wiser and more natural than human intellect and its creations.
Bad At Being Still 