2 Apr 20. Today I will not meditate.

Every day for a few minutes I read from the Anapanasati Sutta. Very carefully. With pleasure. I have memorised the first two tetrads: about the breath and feelings becoming quiet.

When I don’t feel like meditating, I tell myself: Today I will not meditate. I will just sit down for a few minutes and count out-breaths. That’s it. Like a complete fool. No goal. No spiritual path. But here is the trick… I know very well that if I put even a minimal effort into counting my out-breaths, and forget all about quieting my mind, my mind will quiet down a bit. It is because I don’t lose peace because my thoughts appear. Rather, my thoughts appear because I lose mindfulness.

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